I've got to confess something.
I mean that literally. Every time I try to draw closer to Jesus, to walk with him on the desert road, I find myself face to face with a great big roadblock: my own sinfulness. I feel like I'm strong and doing well and then, cruising blithely around a corner--bam! There it is. My own stubborn sin is staring me straight in the face again...
I've really got no excuse. (That's why we name it plain for what it is--"sin.") On the one hand, I'm not alone; I'm in good company, for sure. (The early Christians who ventured out into the desert, for real, in order to experience solitude and commune with God? They told stories of great and torturous spiritual battles. Read the accounts of Saint Anthony--he really had quite a struggle out there in the desert.) On the other hand, I'm totally responsible and have to own up to it. My sin is mine and mine alone.
What does all this have to do with prayer?
I can respond to sin--to temptation, and even to those times when I fall--in one of a few different ways. I can comfort myself too quickly, and tell myself I'm only human, and simply close my eyes to the high standard of God's holiness. Or I can beat myself up for how badly I've failed and tell myself I'm unworthy of God's attention. Or I can do what the Bible prescribes: I can turn around (repent), and throw myself on the loving arms of the God who wants to pick me up, clean me off, and set things right again. In other words, I can pray.
As for me, I don't usually use "fixed prayers"; I generally prefer to pray in my own words. But I've come to really appreciate the ancient, traditional prayers that have stood the test of time among God's people. Especially wonderful are some of the prayers from the Book of Common Prayer. They're simple, direct, and echo the Bible at every turn. Here's the BOCP prayer of confession, which always helps me when I need to tell God about my sin:
Most merciful God,
I confess that I have sinned against you
in thought, word, and deed,
by what I have done,
and by what I have left undone.
I have not loved you with my whole heart;
I have not loved my neighbors as myself.
I am truly sorry and I humbly repent.
For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ,
have mercy on me and forgive me;
that I may delight in your will,
and walk in your ways,
to the glory of your Name. Amen.
What do you think? Do you resonate with this prayer? Is it helpful?
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